Tuesday, May 19, 2009

So very lucky.

It's easy to forget right now as I'm starting to feel really uncomfortable and desperate for the end... and, honestly, ANYTHING sweet thanks to my unwanted friend GD.

The last few days have been hard. I'm tired. I'm having contractions a lot. It scares me. It hurts to move around and takes way too much effort to go up the stairs. I've cried a lot more than I'd like to admit. I feel guilty that I can't play with Lily like I normally do. She's been a grouch. Even the idea of going to breakfast with my dear friend who visited last weekend just wiped me out. I'm exhausted. I worry that this baby is growing too fast because of the GD. It keeps me up at night and the whole tired, achy cycle just goes on and on. It's difficult not to sit and dwell on the number of days left (49, but who's counting? :) ).

And then, I look at this



and I'm reminded of how blessed we are. I'm overwhelmed already by how much I love both of them. What a miracle this is. That I can remember what it felt like to have her in there, and look at her!!!--- just yesterday, she was our tiny baby but now she's a little girl. It makes me refocus, remember and have faith that I can make it to the end. This will be the last time I'll ever go through this and someday, I'll miss it. Time will pass so quickly and soon he'll be a little boy and this will feel so far away.

How lucky I am to have this to look at and just remember the time that our little 3 became a complete 4. So, so lucky.

1 comment:

HazardsNParadise said...

Hi Alli
What a great picture.. I am sorry you are tired and having a tough time of it.If your mom can't make it out and you need some help please just let me know. I'll hop a plane and be there as soon as I can! We had such a great time visiting you all this trip.. my heart is full of love and happy smiles when I think of my son's wonderful loving family.. there is not much more that any person could or would ever ask for.. Please take it easy and seriously.. call me if you want help and I can do anything for you.
Aloha nui loa ( great big long hugs of love) Kris